To move forward in life and business is to learn and grow and develop. And yet moving forward from underneath the fluffy blanket of comfort in your life, in your business is scary.
I'm talking setting out in a tiny boat with only a cheese sandwich, flimsy sail and oar for company, scary.
And if that's not bad enough add it's evil twin "stuck" to the scary and you've got a recipe for freak-out mode.
But to change we have to be willing to take the next step forward and do something different.
I can't tell you how fed up I was with being stuck and scared.
I was soooooo fed up with asking myself the same tired old questions time after time. Is this going to work? Do I have it in me? Am I doing the right thing?To be honest I spent so much time with these questions going round and round in my head that it felt as if I was working hard on my business. But promoting myself and my work should have meant reaching out to people, letting them know what I was selling, getting people on calls to people.
In reality what it meant was thinking about doing all of this (in such detail that I could convince myself that I was actually doing it) and then falling into a quagmire because the results I was hoping for were as elusive as seeing a fairy ring in the garden. Dah!
And then there was Scared. Scared to reach out, frightened to get on a facebook live even hesitant to tell everyone I was open for business. I was happy writing a blog every two weeks - comfort lay in that direction and at least I could convince myself that I was working hard. The self deception lay in thinking that if I kept on doing this that life would change. But the truth is that it's no use doing the same thing over and over again if it's going to take 385,000 years to get you there.
I desperately needed a coach.
Out came Scared demanding to know where the money was going to come from. But show up it did big time once I'd set my mind to it and in hindsight I think Stuck had just got to the end of her tether and was going to win that fight.
And getting myself a coach rather than investing in endless group programmes has been my life saver.
How my coach has helped me move forward
Which felt strange because as a responsible adult I thought I had been doing this for years. You know getting married, buying a property, raising a child. But advanced level responsibility requires something more than this. It meant looking myself firmly in the eye and exposing every time that I was not following through because (and here come the excuses), I wasn't talented enough, wasn't ready because my website, you tube channel, business cards and reception area weren't ready. It wasn't going to happen because that was the way it was for me. Excuses. puses! Blaming something outside ourselves for failure means somewhere along the line we're not taking responsibility. At some point we just have to make the decision that it's only us that can make the choice if we are to succeed or not and from there start taking the actions that are going to lead to success.
The problem with going round in circles for too long is that it makes you dizzy and your thinking fuzzy and it's very hard to see a clear way ahead. My coach told me what to do - get clear on what you're selling, develop your package. There's nothing like being given a direction to help you get clarity. And she helped me see what was right in front of my nose.
My initial intention with this online business was to earn a little extra money a month to help with the family budget. That's what I thought I was capable of and that's were I was convinced it was all going. But my coach had other ideas. She was thinking more along the lines of starting a Movement big. And by the end of my time with her I was also thinking larger, much larger. Full stadium, You tube channel, book launches, the works. I would never have considered these possibilities before thinking them too far out of reach. But the funny thing is, once someone else starts subtly drip-feeding these visions into you, you sort of find yourself inexplicably believing them too. And once the belief takes hold, it's just a case of time because it gives you the drive to take one step after another, after another.
Doing anything scary and new is taking a leap of faith. Doing a webinar, getting out there on facebook live all required throwing myself into it. And the worst most scariest......having a set of profession photos taken. But having a coach tell you that you can do it, that she has your back, gives you enough hand-holding support to feel you are not alone and that you can take that leap.
Not just the bits I liked doing, the activities where I could sit in my cozy cave and develop a deep and meaningful relationship with my laptop but all of it. There is nothing like the gun to your head feeling of having to report back to someone else on a weekly basis explaining what you're got done....and what you haven't. Not that she was ever in any way anything other than supportive but you know. I didn't want to look like a time waster or a fool.
As I was writing this it occurred to me that Stuck and Scary had changed into Flying and Fearless. That's not to say that I'm sure they won't be making me another visit at some point. That's the way of it but I know now that they have another side to them.
So if you're where I was with Stuck and Scary, please I'm begging you, do something about it.
Don't waste anymore time on the obnoxious pair.
Shove them aside and start making progress, real progress because all the help and progress I made with my coach, I can help you with too. Book a call with me and we'll look at how together we can turn them into Flying and Fearless. I can't wait to meet you xx