Were you ever paralysed by concerns about what others thought of you when you were younger?
Have you noticed you care less these days about anyone else’s opinion about your life, your looks, or choices?
What I love in myself at this midlife age and you may have noticed it too, is I’m far more interested in what delights me, what I want to do and less bothered by criticism ( real or imagined) from other people.
The younger version of me was always so worried about fitting in, being normal and not making a fool of myself. Heaven forbid that I did anything too original or adventurous in case I slipped on the banana skin of life.
But as the years have passed, I’ve realized that people are so caught up in themselves anyway, that most of the time, they’re not going to be even giving a passing thought to what we’re doing.
And even if they are and have an opinion, well – there are a 1001 opinions that others may have about me, some positive, others less favourable and so what?
A while ago, I had a negative comment about a piece I had written. My initial reaction was upset, then anger and then paralysis.
I didn’t write again for months.
But eventually I realised that some people are going to love my writing, others are going to hate it and doing it for me, because it’s something I want to bring out into the world, that’s the best policy.
And in a sense, no comment, good or bad is the point.
I write as a creative impulse, because something in me needs to be expressed, not to achieve a certain aim or goal (although winning an award as Midlife Wonderful Writer of the Year would be wonderful), it’s not my why.
Now, I’ve noticed that with just the passing of a few more years, I feel even less concerned and it’s incredibly freeing.
I started ice skating a few years ago and couldn’t give a monkey’s fig how funny I look falling over all the time (very, I suspect). And, I say this as an incredibly self-conscious youngster, this is an amazing gift.
Coupled with the sense that our time is finite, we can get a sudden shot of the daring, bolder and brave juice in midlife.
But perhaps you’re worried about making a mistake.
Again, I’ve got you covered.
Because haven’t you noticed that much of what seemed at the time, your most heart-stopping mistakes, turned out in hindsight, to be incredible gifts in some way.
Even if now they still make you cringe.
So I’d encourage you to start thinking bigger and bolder.
Be brave, courageous and daring.
How could you be bolder?
Where do you need to put on the brave pants?
Which whispers and dreams are asking you to show up more fully?
Start taking small steps towards your version of daring and brave, now .
If you know now is the time for you to be bolder and more daring and you know you want to do more with your midlife (and beyond) even if at the moment you haven’t the foggiest what that might look like, get on a free Flourish call with me.
Together we’ll explore what your version of a great midlife looks like and we’ll get you moving forward.
My guarantee: You will make progress during our conversation.
We'll also talk about whether 1:1 coaching with me is the right next step for you.For details of my current coaching package there is more info here.
I look forward to talking to you.