You’ve tried willpower, every self-help technique going and programme after programme.
But still that thing you want to change hasn’t shifted.
You’re convinced that change is virtually impossible and you’d better learn to accept who and where you are.
And yet people do change –we know that and the evidence is all around us. But what’s the one thing virtually guaranteed to ensure that change could happen as quick as a flash, with as much effort as taking a long, slow, confident breath?
Those ah ha moments, the sudden knowing that seems to come fully formed from nowhere. It’s a deep “in the body” experience, the answer to a problem, a clear next step, a no questions or further analysis necessary. It brings with it an obviousness, a “why on earth didn’t I see that earlier?”
It’s simplicity perfection.
We all know what we need to change in our life whether it’s getting through an entire packet of biscuits on the sofa in the evening, telling the friend who always puts us down to shove off or creating our version of the perfect career.
But we know this at an intellectual level.
Deep in our gut, there’s resistance and conflict and what needs to change is never started or we’re easily distracted. We start the diet but we’re quickly tempted by the extra helping of cake, we smile sweetly at the friend’s snide remark.
Something more is required and instinctively we know this.
We talk about a “change of heart” when all becomes crystal clear, when the 30 a day smoker quits overnight, when we finally walk away from the intolerable situation, knowing this time, we’re not coming back, when we stop doing whatever it is that’s ruining our health or mind.
Once we have an insight, there’s no debate, or hesitation we just get on and do it.
We take the action,
But unfortunately insights don’t turn up on demand. They’re shy, elusive creatures and come in their own time and way, they’re unpredictable.
And the more we push and struggle for one, the more they elude us.
So what helps?
A quiet mind.
A mentor of mine talks about thoughts per minute. When our mind is busy and frantic, those thoughts whir around at a fast rate, rushing from one to the next, whipping up momentum. We can quickly find ourself up to 389 thoughts per minute.
When we are more at peace, thoughts drift into our mind and out at a leisured pace, there’s more space in our thinking. Thoughts per minute could be as low as 10 or 20.
So how do we get there?
First of all we need to recognise we have all the wisdom and knowing we already need, there inside us. We don’t have to look outside to anyone else for help, simply to settle down into what’s already there, waiting for us. Being fully present in our world helps, taking time out to relax and enjoy, listening to the small whispers of inspiration and guidance. Filling up with soul food is another useful way, finding nourishing experiences, books, people that nurture and inspire.
And then, when we’re least expecting it, the shift happens. We get the insight, the idea of what to do next, the certainty of the decision that needs to happen.
It’s all there and then change is made, easily and effortlessly without us hardly noticing until days, months, we notice that something is different, we’ve changed, our life has transformed.
And how crazily easy it all was!
If you’d like to discover more about changing your life with more ease and you know you want to do more with your midlife (and beyond) even if at the moment you haven’t the foggiest what that might look like, get on a free Flourish call with me.
Together we’ll explore what your version of a great midlife looks like and we’ll get you moving forward.
My guarantee: You will make progress during our conversation.
We'll also talk about whether 1:1 coaching with me is the right next step for you. For details of my current coaching package there is more info here.
I look forward to talking to you.